By Michael Entner-Gómez | Digital Transformation Officer | Entner Consulting Group, LLC.
Welcome to the futuristic world of Software Defined Vehicles (SDV)! Here, the streets are paved with code, and dreams are driven by software. But wait, what's this? Some carmakers seem to be veering off the digital road. Let's take a detour and explore how to spectacularly fail in the SDV race and waste a fortune while we're at it.
1. Neglect Security: First and foremost, why bother with cybersecurity? It’s not like cars are becoming smartphones on wheels, susceptible to hacking. Let's just assume our connected cars are as impregnable as Fort Knox. Who's ever heard of a digital break-in, anyway?
2. Ignore Scalability: Remember, your vehicle’s tech should be like a fine wine — it doesn’t get better with age. Upgrades? Scalability? Pfft. Who needs that when you can stick with the classic 2010 processor speed? It's vintage charm!
3. Champion Over-Complexity: Make sure your systems are as complicated as a rocket ship and just as easy to fix. Proprietary systems that require a Ph.D. to understand? That's the ticket to exclusivity!
4. Skip Software Testing: Why invest in robust software testing? It’s way more thrilling to treat your customers like beta testers. Nothing says adventure like unpredictable software behavior on the highway.
5. Misread Your Audience: Focus on gimmicks. Heated seats? Let's make those app-controlled and subscription-based. Privacy concerns? Pfft. If customers aren't using their data, someone should, right?
6. Overpromise: Flashy LEDs and superficial tech integrations are the future! Why solve real problems when you can distract with shiny objects? After all, style over substance has always been the mantra of truly successful ventures.
7. Reject Change: New ideas? Fresh perspectives? No, thank you! Stick to the 'good old ways' and treat any suggestion from outside the automotive world with the disdain it deserves. After all, if they don’t speak car, they’re not worth listening to.
8. Only Hire Traditionalists: Embrace the status quo. Change is overrated. Seek professionals who remember the good old days of carburetors and manual transmissions. Software? That’s just a phase.
9. Isolate Your Ecosystem: In a world that's more connected than ever, ensure your car's ecosystem is an island. Interoperability and cross-platform compatibility are for the weak. Your SDV should be a fortress of solitude.
10. Ignore Data Insights: Your car is perfect from day one, no questions asked. Data analytics and feedback loops? Sounds like doubts creeping in. Trust your gut, not data.
11. Stick to Outdated Business Models: Change is scary. Stick to what you know. The automotive landscape isn’t really evolving, right? Subscription models, data monetization, and new mobility services are just fads.
12. Blend In, Don't Stand Out: Innovation in design? Why bother when you can safely blend into the sea of crossovers and sedans. Remember, uniqueness is risky, and risk is bad.
13. Forget Interoperability: Why make your system compatible with others? Lock your customers into your ecosystem. After all, monopolies have always been well-received in history, haven't they?
14. CI/CD? What's That?: Continuous Integration and Continuous Delivery sound like too much work. Stick with the annual update; it gives your customers something to look forward to, like a birthday or Christmas.
15. Invest in a Dead-end RTOS: Sure, there are cutting-edge, open-source options available, but where’s the fun in that? Go for a Real-Time Operating System with more licensing fees and less flexibility.
16. Assume Teams Know Everything: Why invest in continuous learning and training? Your team already knows everything they need to. New software languages and tools are just passing trends.
17. Avoid Meaningful Partnerships: Partnerships mean sharing – and sharing is caring, which has no place in the cutthroat world of business. Go solo; it's lonelier but safer.
18. Feedback? Ignore It: Customer feedback is just noise. They don’t really know what they want. Stick to your vision, even if it’s myopic.
19. Be Restrictive: Lock in your customers and lock out competition. Freedom of choice is overrated. Your customers should feel lucky to be part of your exclusive club.
20. Shun Open Standards: Embrace proprietary technology. Why make it easy for others to interface with your systems? After all, 'open' is just another word for vulnerable.
By rigorously following these steps, you too can join the ranks of those who watched the SDV revolution from the sidelines. It's a tried and true path to obscurity, perfectly paved with good intentions and outdated ideas. But if, for some strange reason, you prefer success and innovation, you might want to do the exact opposite of everything mentioned above.
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